Coffee with Chashmish

Once upon a time in Ahmedabad, I went to Chashmish’s home for study purpose and decided to stay there at night. At around 11pm, Chashmish started dozing (as usualJ) and told me she is going to sleep. I wanted to stay awake and study more, so I just asked her for plain and simplest thing in the world anybody will ask at night-A Coffee. She started hesitating as if she is standing in front of her upcoming bride….”Hmmm…so…er…u want coffee…ok….let me see….tea will not do?” I told her, “No yaar, its very hot, and I want to have cold coffee”. We both went to her miniature kitchen and started searching for coffee packet. After doing exhaustive Google search, she failed miserably (even if she searched all the newly arrived glossary things from big blue box).

I started babbling, “Do you really stay in this house? You have searched the entire kitchen…you don’t know where the things are in your own house??? Now I know, you must not be coming in kitchen and just sleeping every now and then…”

Chashmish told me with eyes raised in her specs, “Ya whatever you say, your coffee is not there. Mom is sleeping and she usually buys a coffee pack but it seems to have finished. Now you want tea?”

I:  No I don’t want tea…I should next time bring a coffee pack at your place. You have any cold drink at least?

Chashmish: Hmmm…let me check…

Again she followed the same search process but in vein.

Chashmish: There is no cold-drink. Now you want tea?

I: You must be crazy. It’s so hot, and you don’t even have a bottle of ‘Sharbat’? (Syrup to make cold drinks).

Chashmish: NO

I: Fine, at least you must have a bournvite.

Again she followed the same search process but in vein.

Chashmish: Nope it’s not there. Now you want tea?

I: I WILL NOT DRINK TEA. I doubt you have milk in your house….

Chashmish (relived happily): Milk I have….it’s there in fridge. It’s cool also. Please have it by yourself and let me sleep. J

I: How dare you just order like that….? You should not behave with guests…

She partly listened and went to sleep as if hardly cared. People generally drink milk as a sleeping pill and she gave me to stay awake and read!!! But as the milk has its effects, I also felt sleepy in half an hour.

Next day I recited this even to Chakli and we both decided to harass Chashmish next time we meet. That evening we both went to her place. I actually bought a pack of coffee and when she met me I stared bombarding her for coffee event. I told her mom everything and she plainly said, “Coffee is here itself, in the big blue box. And there is another spare packet also. And your bournvite is in this other big transparent box. Even a blind can see it!” I said, “Oh yes yes, it’s here only, right in front! Chashmish, you should go and consult a doctor for eye checkup!” Chashmish said nothing to my arguments and just laughed as if I am making fun of myself!!! And then we all rolled on the floor.

After the sequence of event I realized, that Chashmish must be giving only 2 options to the guests coming at her place-“tea or not?” Like we have in bits-0 or 1. This event has occurred before 2 years but still whenever she enters her kitchen and starts finding something, I just start my running commentary, “Off she goes, and beware of Chashmish! She will just try but will not be able to find anything and she will roam here and there. Oops! She found out something…oh no, it’s not the one. She is already looking at the same place. Even if the thing will be in front of her eyes, poor blind Chashmish will go crazy for searching. She should consult the Google to improve her search process. It’s really interesting to think what she will do when she will want to cook for her husband; she might call him every time to ask for ‘where are potatoes?’ ‘where are spices?’ ‘where is lemon?’ ‘where are utensils?’…hehehehe…and her husband will tell her ‘pls don’t do anything I will cook myself…please spare me…’….hahahahah” And then she would stare at me in anger for 5 min thinking “she is just making fun of me and least bother to help me!!!”

Last time when I went to her place, she was about to put tea in oil instead of mustard seeds and mustard seeds instead of tea in milk!!!! She is like “Hum nahi sudhrenge… (I will never change)” I think this line of song is perfect for her:

“Tere sang, ek simple si coffee bhi kick deti hai…”